Friday, February 11, 2005

Whatever

I was beginning to habour thoughts of inadequacy as a blogger and writer, particularly after my post ("Hate Mail Bait") which was meant to garner some hatemail. As you may know, all the hatemail (comments) I got were ones which were posted just to make me happy (and thus shut me up), or even thinly disguised attempts at mocking me!

And no, that wasn't all. To rub salt and sulphur into my already-gaping wound, there were utterly unfounded rumours about my looks (I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT LOOK LIKE JAY CHOU CHEE *cough*!) and singing ability (NOR SING LIKE HIM!), people advertising their infidel blogs (I hate the guy - he's got more hatemail than I have lovemail), people matchmaking my readers (ok - I'm also guilty), flirtation between my readers (and they were brazen enough to leave me out!), asking for my personal particulars (not because they want to hunt me down to kill me, but because they want to hunt me down for worse reasons), love declarations, marriage proposals...

You don't know how much grief and anguish I had to suffer through reading those comments of yours. Did you not care how much time and effort I spent on that post? (Yuppers, it's probably my longest post yet!) Did you not sense my disappointment or sympathise with my unfortunate plight as non-hatemail after non-hatemail appeared in my comments page?

Just when I was starting to entertain blogicidal thoughts again, this time in anger and disappointment mingled with thoughts of despair and agony *sniff*, someone called "whatever" finally, finally ended my misery five days after the post appeared.

Before I proudly present to you the abovementioned hatemail, let me paste a comment response of mine to another reader, which "whatever" alluded to:

i've heard it said many times that it takes more faith to be an atheist, but i think u should stop using this argument cos atheists are simply not gonna buy it - it's not very convincing.
you're right that reason can't explain everything, but the issue i have (against anybody, not just christians) is just because reason can't explain it all, they think that it is reasonable to become unreasonable ('beyond reason', they call it), or that it is logical to be illogical ('beyond logic').
if you want to convince me of your views, fine, but at least be reasonable about it, then we have a common ground to communicate. if you can't be reasonable, have a nice day.


With that as the backdrop, ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you my first real hatemail, by "whatever", in its unadulterated and pristine condition, for your admiration:

dear calm one

how can you claim to be reasonable when you set out to be flamed?

i don't know you, but i have no doubt that you're a bright guy.

what i hate abt you is that you strike me to be a pompous ass. you obviously know that you're intelligent and you act as if everyone else is beneath you. plus you have no tolerance for anyone or anything that's different. yet it's ironic that you're not exactly "ordinary" yourself.

i'm a catholic but i wouldn't have bothered to respond even if you trashed the religion. we're all entitled to our own views and beliefs.

i'm writing because i think your attitude stinks.

even though you deny it, i do believe that you resurrected your blog because you crave the attention and enjoy getting your intellect affirmed.

over 90% of people in this world believe in a God. what makes you so special? perhaps it'll do you some good to take up a religion... one with a long, documented and undisputed history that i reckon you prefer.

perhaps then your worldview would change and along with it your personality.

some things are better left mysterious. we don't have all the answers because we're not meant to. not everything has to be steeped in knowledge. let go and you'll be a happier person.

it's been nice not knowing you.

whatever | 08.02.05 - 9:52 pm


Beautiful, don't you think?

* * *

It's tempting just the leave that artfully-crafted hatemail as it is, but I'm sure if I leave it alone for too long, some of you will not be able to resist a bit of arson. But since this is my blog, I feel I deserve to make the first move. You can have the leftovers after I'm done. Hurhurhur.

So may I present the same piece of art, sacrilegiously vandalised by me. (I shall assume that "whatever" is male, purely out of convenience.)

dear calm one


Dear calm one? Not bad - biting sarcasm right from the very start. Very promising.

how can you claim to be reasonable when you set out to be flamed?


Eh... why not? I am reasonable, therefore I am reasonable. hurhurhur.
Let's hope he catches my mocking irony.

i don't know you, but i have no doubt that you're a bright guy.


*cough* Let's hope he's not being sarcastic here.

what i hate abt you is that you strike me to be a pompous ass.


Did you spot that? I mean, DID YOU SPOT THAT???? "what i HATE abt you" - he actually mentioned the 4-letter word!
Ladies and gentlemen, it's official, it's there in black and white: this is pure, unadulterated hatemail!

And I'm a "pompous ass"! Guys, you don't know how excited I am. Pompous ass - how cool is that???

Ok, let me calm down - I'm getting too excited for myself. Besides, I'm supposed to be the Calm pompous assed One.

you obviously know that you're intelligent and you act as if everyone else is beneath you.


Uhhh... sorry hor, I dun get it. My readers are all highly intelligent, and I treat them as my intellectual equals, and they prove their intelligence and worth by their appreciation for my subtle humour.

Waitaminute - I think I now have ONE reader who isn't quite... nevermind.

plus you have no tolerance for anyone or anything that's different. yet it's ironic that you're not exactly "ordinary" yourself.


Goody - I'm now an intolerant pompous ass. Or is it pompous intolerant ass? Whatever.

By the way, "whatever", I have little tolerance for people who can't be reasonable, but if you are reasonable, whatever your belief or worldview, we can talk. Read my comment quoted above again (more carefully this time).

i'm a catholic but i wouldn't have bothered to respond even if you trashed the religion. we're all entitled to our own views and beliefs.


You're certainly entitled to believe that I'm a pompous intolerent ass. HEEHAW!
And perhaps you're even right about it. HEEHAW! HEEHAW!

Friendly Tip: If I were you, "whatever", I wouldn't go around declaring that I'm a catholic, unless I want to give Catholicism a bad name. They're already getting enough bad press from pedophiliac priests and Dan Brown books.

i'm writing because i think your attitude stinks.


Pompous, intolerent ass with a thinking attitude. Stinking attitude I mean.

even though you deny it, i do believe that you resurrected your blog because you crave the attention and enjoy getting your intellect affirmed.


Great technique - make claims about me which I won't be able to convincingly falsify without closing down the blog. E.g.

Me: That wasn't why I revived my blog.

Whatever: Oh yeah? Close down your blog to prove it!

Me: ...

Whatever: There - you can't prove it. So you DO crave the attention and enjoy the affirmation after all!

So now I'm a pompous, attention-craving, intolerent ass with a stinking attitude.

(But, "whatever", if it makes you feel better, this blog will be killed in a few months anyway. But still, that wouldn't disprove that I crave the attention.)

over 90% of people in this world believe in a God.


Wow, he has statistics to back his point, whatever that point is. Not too many generations ago, over 99% of people in this world believed that the world was flat.

And by the way, from what I know, the figure is closer to 80%, and it includes not just theists, but deists, polytheists, pantheists, panentheists, etc.
(If you can't convince them, confound them with big "-eists" words. Actually I don't know what's the point I'm trying to make here either. Heh.)

what makes you so special?


I don't know what makes me special, but what makes YOU special is that you're the first one to send me serious hatemail! You should feel honoured!

perhaps it'll do you some good to take up a religion... one with a long, documented and undisputed history that i reckon you prefer.


And I don't get the point here either. I don't know of any religion with that satisfies all those conditions - long, documented and undisputed history. *scratches head*

If you're referring to Roman Catholicism, the "undisputed" part of it would be completely laughable. Just take, say, the relationship of Pope Pius XII and Hitler. No dispute? I could go on and on and on...

perhaps then your worldview would change and along with it your personality.


You may have noticed that I have no personality to speak of, let alone change. Poor me.

some things are better left mysterious. we don't have all the answers because we're not meant to. not everything has to be steeped in knowledge. let go and you'll be a happier person.


*Sigh* He should really have read my comment (quoted above) properly, where I did say that "reason can't explain everything". But I don't blame him. When you're angry, and you want to get your point across, you have to get that point across, even though the guy you're angry with already agrees with you.

it's been nice not knowing you.


Awww... so poignant...

* * *

Not everyone gets to be the centre of attraction in my blog post. It pays to send me hatemail.

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