Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Busting Bogus Beliefs

It is somewhat unfortunate that the recent posts of this blog have taken a downward trend in terms of intellectual content, a trend in which I shall hereby seek to reverse with this post.

This downward trend, as a number of you may have noted, has been caused by insidious rumours about the close resemblance of my facial appearance with that of a certain male celebrity. These rumours, as I have repeatedly stated, are completely unfounded and fictional.

Having stated my stand, I shall not touch on this particular subject, ever again.

* * *

One interesting thing about human beings in general is their ability to belief anything they want to, even in the face of evidence proving the contrary.

For example, a girl may keep insist that her boyfriend loves her even though he treats her like dirt (except on valentine's day), and everyone else knows that he's just making use of her.

Or how you hope against hope that you might win the Grand Prize for this TOTO lottery. Or maybe the next time, after the results have been announced for this time. Or, perhaps, the next one. Or the one after. (Please email me if you've won it before.)

Or the belief that God doesn't exist, if you're an atheist. (Sorry Christians, you've already been targeted in a previous post, now it's time to offend the atheists.) Consider this scenario:

Atheist: There is no god.

Theist: You're wrong. God exists.

Atheist: Oh yeah? Then show her to me.

Theist: Him you mean. We humans can't command God what to do, and God is not obligated to show Himself to You.

Atheist: Ah... then God doesn't exist!

Theist: ....


Familiar scenario?

But what if the following ensued:


Atheist: Ah... then God doesn't exist!

Theist: ....

GOD: I AM HERE.

*Theist falls on his knees*

Theist: Oh my God!!!

Atheist: Ermm... who are you? You're kinda... glaring...

GOD: I AM. GOD.

Atheist: I'm sorry, god doesn't exist.

GOD: I AM GOD. I EXIST.

Atheist: Prove to me that you're god.

*Lightning strikes, earth shakes, strong wind blows*

GOD: PROVEN.

Atheist: Well... you've only proven that you're are kinda powerful, but you're not god.

*Creature with seven heads and ten legs appear out of nowhere*

GOD: PROVEN.

Atheist: That's kinda impressive, but like I said, you're kinda powerful, and I do have to admit that I haven't met anyone quite as powerful as you before. But this doesn't prove that god exists.

GOD: WHAT PROOF DO YOU NEED?

Atheist: Easy, just show her to me!

GOD: HIM. I AM GOD!

Atheist: Oh no you're not - god doesn't exist!


As you can see, if the atheist has already decided that God doesn't exists, nothing can change his mind, not even God.


Which reminds me of something.

Some time ago I wrote about how a friend of mine told me that I remind her of Jay Chou. I REMIND HER of Jay Chou, not LOOK LIKE Jay Chou (PLEASE READ CAREFULLY!).

I suppose it's partly my fault. I should have known that a particular group of readers start to hyperventilate and get high once they see 'Jay Chou'. And once they're in that hyperconscious state, they are unable to read carefully. And just because I was somehow linked to Jay Chou in the post, the automatic (BUT ERRONEOUS) conclusion they get is that I look like Jay Chou. I DO NOT.

Pardon me for repeating many times that I DO NOT LOOK LIKE JAY CHOU. It's the only way to get the message across to some readers.

However, as I have illustrated earlier, no matter how much I insist I DO NOT LOOK LIKE JAY CHOU, some readers will still cling on to that BOGUS BELIEF.

Take the following familiar scenario:

(Online)

Fanatical Fantasizer: Oh Calm One the Jay Chou lookalike!

Calm One: I DO NOT LOOK LIKE JAY CHOU!

Fanatical Fantasizer: Post your photo to prove it.

Calm One: It's against Calm One policy to post my photo online.

Fanatical Fantasizer: There! You DO LOOK LIKE JAY CHOU!!!!

Calm One: OKAY OKAY I'll post my photo!!!

Fanatical Fantasizer: YAY!!!!

*Calm One posts his photo*

Fanatical Fantasizer: HEY!!! That doesn't look like Jay Chou! That looks more like... Asian Prince!!! You LIAR!!!

Calm One: I told you before that I look like Asian Prince, but you refused to believe...

Fanatical Fantasizer: You didn't post your REAL photo!!!

Calm One: B..but... that IS my REAL photo!!!

Fanatical Fantasizer: I don't believe you!!!

Calm One: Nothing I can do about that...

Fanatical Fantasizer: Oh yes there's something you can do...

Calm One: Like?

Fanatical Fantasizer: We could meet up! *beams*

Calm One: No way! That's against Calm One policy!

Fanatical Fantasizer: You don't want me to see you because you look like Jay Chou!

Calm One: I DON'T LOOK LIKE JAY CHOU!!!

Fanatical Fantasizer: Prove it! Let's meet up!

Calm One: Damn...

Fanatical Fantasizer: That's the ONLY way you can prove it...

Calm One: OKAY LAH OKAY LAH!!!

Fanatical Fantasizer: YAAAAAAYYY!!!!

Calm One: Sheeesh...

(Some time later, in a seedy shopping centre in a corner of Singapore, two people meet.)

Calm One: Hi..

Fanatical Fantasizer: Er... you look like

Fanatical Fantasizer & Calm One (together): Asian Prince!

Calm One: Yup. I'm Calm One.

Fanatical Fantasizer: Oh no you're not!!!

Calm One: Yes I am!

Fanatical Fantasizer: But you don't look like Jay Chou!!! You imposter! You identity theif! Get lost!!!

Calm One: But... I AM Calm One!!!

Fanatical Fantasizer: Calm One looks like Jay Chou, but YOU look like Asian Prince! Get lost!!!

Calm One: but....

Fanatical Fantasizer: GET LOST!!!!! *sobs* Calm One cheated me....


It's always like this. If the truth does not conform to your cherished belief, there's nothing anyone can do to change it.

Face it. The truth hurts sometimes.

* * *

By the way, hatemail is still welcome. Thanks in advance.

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