Saturday, January 01, 2005

Life, Truncated

If you haven't already done so, please read my previous 4 posts (starting from December 28, 2004, Festive Felicitations and Seasons Salutations) before you read this one. They all relate and lead to this post. Yes I know it'll take time, but trust me, you'll have plenty of it.

* * *

A 2nd-year classmate of mine died around this time of the year in 2004.

He was a good guy, better than I was; and he loved life, more than I did.
But life was ripped away from his grasp.
Life, for him, was truncated, and much too early.

Just barely a week ago, many lives were swept into oblivion by a tsunami.
Many more will be soon be extinguished by the same disaster.

We may be able to accept it when a life close to us is expired;
We won't be able to accept it when a life close to us is truncated.

Because it's not fair.
Because there's no good reason why it happened
to someone else,
and not to us.

But life, as they say, is unfair.
Or is it death, who is unfair?

* * *

I was agonizing for too long over the title for this post.
Death At Ngee Ann? This would allude to my blog title. Or maybe, In the End..., reflecting back on my first post? I finally settled for the current one because it has a bleak, stark, and slightly forlorn ring to it. I don't usually spend too much effort on my post titles, but I figured I should this time since it's my last post.

Yes you read it right.

This, is my last post.

* * *

But why???

I initially wanted to end this blog with just a short and curt announcement. Like:

This is my last post.

But it would've been too unfair to you. You've supported this blog, linked to it, put your comments in it, and even felt an attraction and attachment to it.

I too, have had a certain amount of emotional attachment to this blog. This blog has become a chapter in my life. And because of this blog, you too have become a part of my life.

But it's time for this chapter to end.

I've learnt what I wanted to learn, and more.

They say that the pen is mightier than the sword, and I've tasted of that power through this blog. But it doesn't suit my tastes.

I've also had a slight taste of fame, and some of the trappings that go along with it. Not my taste either.

Too many people I know have taken notice of this blog, and I'm not ready for that.
I need to slide back and hide inside my Levis of anonymity. Not completely possible I know, for some have already discovered my identity, but that's all I can do.

Sure you may find my arguments and reasons unconvincing, and you probably can give cogent arguments for the continuation of this blog. Whatever. It wouldn't change anything, so don't bother. Psychoanalyse me if you need to. But don't make the mistake of the blind defining the elephant. Someone who knows me (relatively speaking) has declared that I'm a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. Don't expect to do much better.

* * *

Don't mourn for a blog that dies.

Mourn for yourself - you're dying.

You've been dying since you started living.

* * *

There are maybe 3 possibilities of what may happen to a person after death:

1) Reach a final state. This may be simply nothingness, or a cessation of existence, or it could be heaven or hell etc. (To the metaphysicist: I know I'm being simplistic here, just let it pass ok?)

2) Ressurect. (Okay I know some of you believe this isn't even a possibility, but do humour me for this last time willya?)

3) Reincarnate. (I know, I know, gimme a break.)

When we eventually die, at least one of these will happen to us, and I don't think we have a choice as to which.

Fortunately when a blog dies, the blogger gets to choose.

1) Reach a final state. This basically means stop blogging.
I don't think this is an option for me, at least for now. I need to write.

2) Ressurect.
One word - no. This blog will remain dead.

3) Reincarnate. New blog, somewhere else?
Is this my last option? Then I guess this is it.

New blog, somewhere else.

In a reincarnation, you don't know where or what form the dead one reincarnates into. Neither will you know where this blog will reincarnate. So don't even bother to ask.

Maybe some day in the fair future, you again may encounter another blog by this blogger, although you may not realise it. Keep an open mind.

* * *

But do drop me an email, especially if this blog has affected you in any way. I can't guarantee that you'll get a reply, any more than a medium can guarantee a reply from Elvis Presley, but at least you'll know that it won't be a hoax.

You guys have been great.

Thanks, every single one of you, for reading.

It has been my pleasure.

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